How Can the BIFF Communication Method Help Our Divorce Go More Smoothly?

 Posted on May 09, 2022 in Family Law

Divorcing a hostile spouse in Texas is no easy feat. While most couples are not getting along well by the time they pursue divorce, some people are particularly prone to conflict and actively seek it out. Spouses often get caught up in the emotional highs and lows of the fights they share during divorce, and while getting that perfect one-liner under your spouse’s skin may feel good in the moment, it often leaves you feeling rotten for many days afterward. If you want to put a stop to the hostilities in your communication, the BIFF communication method may be helpful to you. 

What is the BIFF Method? 

BIFF stands for “brief, informative, friendly, and firm.” It is a communication strategy designed by relationship conflict experts who want to help divorcing spouses - and anyone else in a high-conflict environment - minimize angry conversations and turn tense talks into reasonable, effective discussions. The BIFF method uses these four strategies: 

• Brief - The less you say, the less there is to fight about. While it can be tempting to explain yourself in-depth, especially when you feel the need to justify your actions or thoughts, avoiding conflict is easier when there is less content to react to. Just get your most important point across and leave the rest unsaid. 

• Informative - It is harder to fight over simple information than it is about opinions or feelings. Spouses are good at pushing each other’s buttons and often get defensive quickly, but if you can drop the need to defend yourself and simply focus on the issue at hand, you can trim unnecessary conversation to a minimum. 

• Friendly - Maintaining a friendly tone is difficult when you feel attacked, but if you can stay friendly long enough to communicate plain information, you can de-escalate and even prevent tension. It is also far easier when you communicate in writing, which is one of the reasons experts recommend not talking in person to your ex if you can avoid it. 

• Firm - If the conversation gets hostile, end it. If you say the conversation is over, stop responding. Politely let your spouse know that you will continue the discussion at a further date when you are both calmer, or when you have the need to speak to each other again. 

Meet with a Fredericksburg, TX Divorce Attorney 

At the Law Office of Russ Alan Baker, PLLC, we know how important it is to protect your sanity in a divorce. That is why we are committed to helping you pursue a calm, collaborative divorce process that protects your interests while minimizing conflict. To learn more about how we may be able to help, schedule a complimentary case review with one of our Fredericksburg divorce attorneys today by calling us at 325-216-2006. 

Source: 

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/5-types-people-who-can-ruin-your-life/201809/biff-4-ways-respond-hostile-comments